Oh Hey Dudes.

So much to say, and yet so little.  

I helped one of my best friends move out of the apartment she shared with her abusive ex-boyfriend.  Five of us got together and got everything packed, moved, and unpacked out of a two bedroom apartment in four hours.  Okay, so I was only there for two of the hours because of work, but I still feel like it’s an accomplishment.  Even though I was exhausted from carrying things up and down the stairs, and overwhelmed by the monstrous amount of crap she owns, I couldn’t help feeling a ridiculous amount of pride too.  So many people stay in abusive relationships out of fear, and it’s the worst decision they could possibly make.  I’m sorry ladies (and some gents I’m sure), but it’s NEVER going to get better.  Abusive people don’t change.  People in general rarely change. 

 

I’m SO proud of her for not only getting out when she did, but going out with a bang.  This guy had nothing.  EVERYTHING in that apartment belonged to her.  She took everything down to the toilet paper.  He was left with a chair, his TV/entertainment center, some clothes, and some football cards.  Literally, that’s it.  Yeah, good luck with that, jerk.  We went out to eat afterwards and when he finally got home and saw the empty apartment, he was blowing up her phone threatening to call the cops.  For what, exactly?  It was amusing seeing him try to grasp on to any shred of power he had left.  Turns out, he has none.

So, Christmas happened.  I was worried about how this year was going to go.  With Grandma being in the hospital and my mom working Christmas day, everything was different.  It was the first time EVER we’d not spent Christmas Day together, and I suck at change.  I was feeling pretty bummed about it. Christmas Eve came, and it was actually quite nice.  The extended family came over, we drank grasshoppers and ate food and had our usual banter.  Uneventful, but nice.  After they left my mom and I opened gifts and watched a movie together.  I’m not embarrassed to admit-no matter how old I get, I still love cuddling with my Mom. 

 

Christmas morning came, Mom left for work, and I went over to one to my best friend’s parent’s house.  From there, we went to a few aunts and uncles houses, and it was lovely.  I’m so grateful to have been so well-received by these people that really have no obligation to be nice to me.  I totally had that warm and fuzzy holiday feeling.  Maybe that was just the booze.  Either way, it was nice.

With all that being said about the holiday spirit and people taking me in no questions asked, I was a little annoyed when there was someone at my mom’s other than my mom herself when I came home Christmas night.  We know these two dumb people who are in a relationship.  Both of these dumb people lived with us and screwed us over.  They had a baby who will likely turn out to be as dumb or be a genius and hate her parents.  These dumb people get in dumb fights all the time because they don’t know how to be grown-ups, and even after everything they did to us, expect my mom to help them out by giving one of them a place to stay until things boil over.  Dude just showed up at my mom’s house, let himself in, and was sitting there when she got home from work.  I had to laugh because earlier that day Mom had text me saying dumb girl text her saying they were fighting and asked if Mom would come pick dumb guy up.  She’s like uhh no, I’m working and then I have plans with my daughter because, you know, it’s Christmas.  So I guess they decided he was entitled to just show up instead.  As an alternative, maybe they could both grow up and deal with their problems like adults.  Maybe they could realize that because this happens at least twice a week, their relationship quite obviously isn’t working and maybe they should separate and focus on raising their kid instead of hating each other.  I guess she smashed his windshield with a shovel, so now neither of them can get to work, and they definitely can’t take their baby anywhere.  So that’s….smart. 

Luckily Mom and I were both pretty tired and not very hungry so we just skipped dinner, watched the game and called it an early night instead.  But I’m still pretty miffed that they imposed on what was supposed to be a nice, family holiday.  Maybe they should have spent more time focusing on THEIR family holiday.  Or being a family at all.

Ramble ramble ramble ramble.

I’m SO pleased with how well work’s been going lately.  It was insanely slow on Friday night, and I got to a point of bored that I just couldn’t handle.  I asked one of my supervisors if there was anything I could do, and ended up training on a bunch of new stuff.  It’s nice working with people that make me feel competent for once.  Plus, the way I see it, I’ve only been here four months and they’re already willing to train me on new stuff?  Party.  I’ll be working my way up the ladder in no time. 

 

Also, apparently someone at work likes me a lot, because I am getting far more weekends off than I’m supposed to.  I’m not complaining.  Especially about New Year’s weekend.

I’m actually at work now, it’s another slow night.  I didn’t even have to take a call until three and a half hours into my shift when I ran out of other stuff to do.  I ended up reviewing all the things I learned Friday as well as making myself a nice little binder with all kinds of training information in it.  Because I’m at work and going to email it to myself to post, I’m trying to get through this without any swears.  For me, it is near impossible.

MY GRANDMA COMES HOME TOMORROW!  I’m SO excited.  As much as she annoys me, I love her to death and can’t wait to hang out with her.  I’m hoping she likes the Kindle I got her for Christmas, but I’m not looking forward to teaching her to use it.  As much as it bums me out to think about, I know she doesn’t have too many years left and I’m hoping to make the last few count.

When I was talking to her on the phone Christmas morning, she asked if it bothers me at all that my dad’s side of the family doesn’t invite me over to their holiday gathering.  Yeah, no doubt it bothers me.  But am I losing any sleep over it?  No.  Most of them have ignored me the majority of my life, my dad included.  It made me really upset when I was younger, but now that I’m old enough to understand what’s important in life, I know that they (or at least my dad) are going to be the ones regretting it in the future.  So why should I let it get me down now?

 

My only regret about that situation is that I don’t have a relationship with my half-sisters.  I still don’t consider that my fault, but I will admit that I’m TERRIFIED of reaching out to them.

Curveball: someone made a fat joke at me for the first time in AGES yesterday.  It was some punk on Facebook commenting on my friend’s wedding pictures.  Yeah, my last name is Zachow.  Yeah, I realize that it looks like it’s pronounced “cow”.  Definitely haven’t heard that joke a million times before in my life.  It threw me off…not in a “that hurt my feelings” kind of way but in a “seriously, kid?  I’ve been brushing THAT dirt of my shoulder longer than you’ve been alive.  Almost literally.  You were born in 1996” kind of way.

 

Ramble ramble ramble ramble.

 I should do this more often.  My brain feels empty of the random things that float around in my head.  Maybe I’ll actually get some sleep.

I accomplished the “no swears” thing!  Victory is mine.

Goodnight!